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Thursday, August 29, 2013

Top 10 Giant Robots

Last week Michael May and Siskoid ran a top 10 list of his their top 10 giant monsters.   One  of the rules when creating this top ten is that robots aren’t monsters and would require their own top 10 list.  Just like last week I had to get in on the action, so today we’re going to be talking giant robots.  We are also including mecha into this list, figuring that giant machines controlled by pilots are going to be close enough to robots that it will still count.  Make sure you check out Michael’s AdventureBlog today for a list of other blogs participating in today’s robot countdown. 

10. Voltron

I was going to use the Vehicle version of Voltron just to enrage a friend of mine, but the majority of people who recognize the name Voltron immediately think of the lion version when they hear that name.  There is a good reason for that to, the Lion Force robot is extremely cool looking.  So you’re asking if Voltron is iconic and has such a great design why is he only number 10 on the list?  It’s because watching a Voltron cartoon is excruciatingly boring.  All the archetypes are there, but nothing interesting is ever done with it.  That makes it even worse, it has such potental to be amazing and it's just bland.  I’m including all the re-launches in that statement too. 

9. Emperor Titans (Warhammer 40K)

No setting in existence does over the top better than the Warhammer 40K universe.  The armies of man have giant war machines called Titans, the largest of these are the Emperor Titans.  Standing 166 feet tall the Emperor Titan towers over everything else on the battle field.  As you’d expect the Titan is loaded down with weapons with equally over the top names like Hellstorm Cannons, Apocalypse Missle Launcher’s, and Vulcan Mega Bolters.  I almost forgot to mention that it carries a cathedral dedicated to the God-Emperor on its shoulders.  It's a massive warmachine and a walking church. 

8. Liberty Prime (Fallout 3)

If you remember the Journey of Thall Faceshooter you know I had a great time playing through Fallout 3.  There are some issues with the setting of the game when compared to the rest of the series; some of the lore just doesn’t fit as well.  Liberty Prime though is awesome.  Originally built to liberate Anchorage, Alaska from the Red Chinese this robot was dug up by the Brotherhood of Steel.  Liberty Prime eventually is set upon the Enclave and causes massive destruction by shooting dual energy beams from his head and throwing mini-nukes like footballs.  All the time he’s wrecking face he says things like “Communism is the very definition of failure,” and “Democracy is non-negotiable.”

7. Volfogg (GaoGaiGar)

One of the Super-AI robots in the GGG is the definition of cool.  His vehicle form is a police Ferrari and his robot form is pretty much a ninja.  He carries tow Silver Moon throwing blades that can be combined to form a giant throwing star known as the Silver Cross.  He is also equipped to create holograms, create smoke screens, and to use his Mirror Coating to turn invisible.  When he needs a power upgrade he can join with a non intelligent motorcycle and helicopter to form Big Volfogg.  He looks significantly less ninja-like when it Big Volfogg mode though.

6.  Lockdown (Transformers)

Transformers Animated introduced one of the coolest Transformers of all time.  It’s heavily implied that this faction-less bounty hunter was once an Autobot.  Lockdown has a habit of collecting trophies from his prey, usually it’s a weapon or upgrade that he can use for himself.  This is how he came to own Ratchet’s EMP generator.  Lockdown’s alt form is a nasty spiked racecar with an exposed engine block and a cow-catcher on the bumper.  Oh and in the cartoon he is voiced my Lance Henricksen. 

5. Megas XLR

With a theme song that told the world that “Chicks dig giant robots,” it was obvious that Megas XLR was going to be different than most cartoons.  Produced by Titmouse, Inc, Megas XLR only lasted one season (just like their amazing cartoon Motorcity).  In the future the Earth is losing a war with an alien race called the Glorft. The humans steal a prototype giant robot and modify for our use.  Megas and its pilot Kiva are going to be sent into the past hoping they can stop the invasion.  All sorts of craziness happens.  Megas is damaged and sent to the wrong time.  The damaged Megas is found in present day by Coop , who repairs the robot and replaces the damaged head with a muscle car.  He calls the robot XLR.  Kiva finds Megas but is unable to pilot it anymore because of Coop’s modifications.  Megas XLR makes fun of every giant robot trope in existence and then moves on to anime tropes in general.  The series was smart and funny as all hell. 

4. Iron Giant

Iron Giant is the best Superman movie ever made.  If you haven’t seen it you should stop reading right now and go see it.  Nothing else really needs to be said about it.

3. Veritech (Macross/Robotech)

The VF-1 Valkyrie is a classic.  It goes from from jet mode, to guardian more, to battloid.  There are numerous different versions just in the first series alone.  The design has been copied across all different sorts of media.  Roy Focker’s Veritech looks the best of course.  The black and yellow scheme stand out on the white body and the skull squadron symbol just makes the whole thing look cool.  The Robotech cartoon had a huge impact on me when I was a kid and this design will be with me forever.

2. Springer (Transformers)

I’ve talked numerous times about Springer on That F’ing Monkey.  My all time favorite Transformer.  In the cartoon he was a sarcastic asshole who got shit done.  In the comics he’s the lead of the Wreckers.  Springer is named because he’s legs are so powerful that he is able to leap across battlefields.  Considering he also turns into a helicopter you wouldn’t think that would be an issue.  He goes from sports car, to helicopter, to bad ass.  This triple changer first debuted in the Transformers movie and I’ve been obsessed with him ever since.

1. GaoGaiGar

GaoGaiGar could be placed on the top of this list for his theme song alone.  For those unfamiliar with this awesomeness let me explain what it takes to transform into GaoGaiGar.  A cyborg leaps into a giant robot lion's mouth.  This causes the lion to transform into the robot GaiGar.  That robot is then joined by a drill tank, a bullet train, and a stealth fighter.  All four of these machines then take on the form of GaoGairGar.  You want a giant robot anime that takes it over the top?  This is it.  GaoGaiGar protects the world from the Zonder threat and while I had just mentioned his basic transformation as the series went on he was outfitted with more equipment to battle the aliens.  The most famous is probably his Goldion Hammer, a gigantic hammer that contains an artificial gravity well.  Another robot had to be introduced so it could turn into an arm attachment strong enough to even hold the hammer.  Most of the foes GaoGaiGar faces end up be completely disintegrated.  There is a reason GaoGaiGar is the King of the Braves. 

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