Updates

This is the last one of these for a bit, I promise. Tomorrow we get back to normal. Thursday morning there will be a Hangover Thursday like normal, but while the site is updating I’ll be on a flight to Charlotte for Heroes. There should still be updates on Friday and Saturday, so for the reader nothing should really be changing.

While I’ll have laptop access this weekend, expect the actual Heroes update on Tuesday and Wednesday of next week. If you read our Megacon report, it is going to be very similar. If you’re going to be at the con, look for the bald guy in the F’ing Monkey T-shirt and say hello. Speaking of shirts, they are for sale. The button on the left goes to our new store. I will have some at the con, but if you want to make sure I have your size it would be best to email me before.

And then there is this….

Random

This is going to be a random download post, prepare yourselves humans...

Beard Update -

Well the Lightning lost in the Eastern Conference Finals in 7 games to the Bruins. Even though they did not make it to the Stanley Cup Finals, I still count this season as a win. After 3 years of being down in the bottom of the league it was nice to go deep in the playoffs. So here is the final beard update for the 2010 -2011 NHL season.



I gots to say my beard comes in all kinds of fucked up. It grows different ways depending on what side of my face and all that crap. It was gone about 5 minutes after this picture was taken.

Heroes Vs. Las Vegas -

This weekend is Heroes in Charlotte, NC. Ken will be there and I was scheduled to be as well. However Jerry Lewis has screwed me again. The MDA Telethon happens on the network that
my RL job is an affiliate of and is at the same time as DragonCon. So for the last few years I have missed that Con. Well this year I have to go to Vegas for a meeting for this same telethon. So the two Cons that are on my nerd calender get taken over by Mr. Lewis. Yes it is a great cause and I don't have a problem supporting it, just bah! Both damn Cons....




Leave it to a nerd to be pissed to have to go to Las Vegas. Trust me, I am sure I would have more fun at Heroes.

A Clash of Kings -



I finally finished this book after having taken entirely too long to read. All in all I enjoyed it, although I did not like it as much as A Game of Thrones. As much as I like the overall story, there are many parts that get bogged down in semantics. Like with Tolkien getting caught up in language and description, Martin gets the same thing with relationships of the different families and factions in Westros. Gets hard to read at some points and one or two of the side stories are just boring. Well worth the read if you liked the first book.

Warmachine -

So I talked before about Warhammer, and I still enjoy the back story of that game. However it is ridiculously expensive, so I have been looking into other hobby games. I found Warmachine.

It is still pretty expensive, but you need much less models to play. It is very steampunk and has a pretty cool story. Check it out - Privateer Press.


Reading this week -"The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo" by Stieg Larsson

That F’ing Monkey: Year One

Today is the One Year Anniversary of That F’ing Monkey. It is a small milestone but a surprising one. I didn’t have any idea what I was doing when I started writing. I figured I’d just throw a bunch of random thoughts out there. Over the year the concept evolved into what it is today. A lot of the early articles are a little embarrassing; full of broken YouTube or image links. For the longest time I kept trying to surprise people with content after the page break. It looks extremely silly when someone landed directly on the article instead of on the home page.

I’m extremely proud that I’ve made it this far. I think a number of people who know me thought I would quickly lose interest and move on to something else. I didn’t do that. In fact I’ve done pretty well at getting some kind of content up every scheduled day. The reading audience has changed too. When it started it was only those people who I’ve known for years. Now there are a number of names that I’ve never met face to face. The internet is a huge place full of boobies and silly animals; I thank anyone who takes the time away from those things to read what we have up here.

Here are the notable moments in That F’ing Monkey’s first year.

5/29/10: The very first post. It was about Dunedin Brewery’s Red Head Red Ale and extremely short.

6/11/10: The first article to receive a comment. It was a Uni-Formz Flash review.

6/24/10: Hangover Thursday is born

6/25/10: The first official Flash Friday.

8/3/10: The Copepod article. This page is still getting hits every week.

8/11/10: Brandon is brought in as a Guest Writer

8/13/10: Brandon’s first article as said Guest Writer

8/24/10: The first Tales of the Brain Jar.

10/27/10: We hit 100 articles. The site changed to the current layout.

12/6/10: Brandon becomes a full co-writer and begins Monday updates.

1/1/11: Punch becomes the F’ing Monkey mascot. The F’ing Monkey Facebook page is created.

1/2/11: The first All Swine’s Day is a huge success.

3/29/11 and 3/30/11: The first convention interviews!

4/12/11: The first playoff beard challenge.

5/28/11: T-Shirts!!!

5/29/11: One Year!

I hope the site builds and grows in the next year as much as it did this year. Some things we did will become annual events; I think the beard challenge was fun (even if neither of our teams made it to the cup finals) and next year we’ll be looking for other hockey fans to join in. There are a lot of things in the works behind the scenes and I can’t wait to talk about them.

That F’ing Monkey is For Sale

Well the website isn’t for sale, but our brand new T-Shirts are!! I know it has been a long wait, but the first of our shirts are back from the printers and are now for sale. Baby tees are on the way, but because the barcode logo had to be shrunk down to fit on the smaller shirts it will be a few more days.

The button above will take you to the That F’ing Monkey store. Today it is in the middle of the post, but you can see it has also been moved to the side of the website, that will be its permanent home.

The shirts are a pre-shrunk 50/50 and printed on the front and the back. If you can’t tell from the pictures, the Comics, Games, Booze motto is huge on the back. Those pictures are 100% real, no photoshopped mock ups this time. If you’re in the US, 20 dollars will cover the shirt and shipping; if you are outside the US it will be 5 more dollars.

I am leaving for Heroes on June 2nd, so all shirts ordered on the 1st through the 6th will be shipped on the 7th. If you are going to Heroes and want to pick up a shirt at the convention, just email me. I have limited suitcase space but I’m sure I’ll be brining a few shirts with me.

This is just the start of the F’ing Monkey merchandise machine. I’m hoping that we’ll be able to have stickers just a little bit down the line. On top of that, I’ll let you in on a secret; Monkey Labs is currently working on a board game. Seriously, it is going to be awesome.

Flash Friday: Flash Lights

Happy Flash Friday everyone, today we’re going to be talking about Flash related objects that are in some way lighted. So, yeah, Flash Lights. Before I get started though, I know there are a number of people who just come here for the Flash articles. I wanted to point out that Sunday marks the one year anniversary of That F’ing Monkey. I laugh that after a year I’ve shown off the majority of my Flash collection, but I’m sure I’ll be able to keep Flash Friday going strong for a long time. There will be an extremely important site update tomorrow that I hope you’ll check out. Then on Sunday there will be a review of our first year.

With that out of the way, we can get to the Flash talk. The first item is my Flash neon sign. DC put out a series of neon lights around two years ago now. They were called mini-neons; the symbol measures 8” wide and 9” high while the base measures 5.5” in diameter. It comes with a bracket that lets you either mount it on a wall like in the picture above or use the base as a stand. I was tempted to keep it free standing and place it on top of a display case, but in the end I made it the center piece to my Flash wall.

The next piece is one of my favorite things in my Flash collection. Do you remember the Warner Brothers stores? Just near the end of their run they really started pushing stuff for superheroes other than Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman. One of the last items I got was the cut glass lighted display you see above. The first picture isn’t a good representation of the piece, but I wanted to show you it lit and unlit. The glass piece doesn’t feel fragile, so it is probably a kind of plastic instead of glass.

The base houses a small red light that shines up into the glass portion. As you can see in the picture, it makes a pretty impressive looking piece. You can tell when this was produced by the design; it is very similar to the Justice League version of Wally but looks just a little bit thicker. This came out not long after the Flash’s appearance on the Superman cartoon. After all these years the base has gotten pretty beat up, the bottom of it is starting to peel away. At some point I’m going to have to find a way to replace it.

I don’t actually own this last item. The night lights just came out a few months ago. I’ll pick one up eventually, but you can only have so many night lights and I already have a blue canary. I am sorry I don’t have an actual Flash, flash light to show everyone. Maybe I’ll get bored one day and customize one.  One last note on the neon, I've seen them on a lot of websites at clearance price.  So if you're looking for one, it might be a good time to pick it up.

That’s it for this Flash Friday, remember that this weekend we’ll have some exciting stuff happening so check it out.



Hangover Thursday: My Drunk Kitchen

It’s Hangover Thursday, how’s your head? I am currently in the middle of moving my work desk, so I’m more coffee deprived then anything today. That won’t stop us from talking about booze though. When I get drunk I get loud and I get hungry. Not just hungry, but supernaturally hungry. I’ve shoved food in my face for hours at a bar only to want something more to eat the moment I get home. That hunger sometimes leads to drunk cooking.

Hannah “Harto” Hart knows a thing or two about drunk cooking; in fact she has her own series of web videos called My Drunk Kitchen. I’m including two of those videos in today’s post but you owe it to yourself to watch all of them. That F’ing Monkey has been a long time fan of Epic Meal Time, but I promise you that Youtube has room for two booze infused cooking shows.

I don’t think I’m giving anything way, but most of the cooking jobs don’t go as well as planned. I can sympathize, when I used to live near downtown Orlando I once sat on the kitchen floor for half an hour prying off the top of a can of Chef Boyardee with a bottle opener. Of course the next day I found can opener in the drawer, but that night I was too far gone to find it. Back to My Drunk Kitchen, check out the videos, go to http://hartoandco.com/ and check out her website. Enjoy the cooking. Fear the baking.

L.A. Noire's Badge Challenge Can Eat a Dick

Today we break from our anniversary celebration to talk video games.  You might remember me talking about the pre-order bonuses that came with the game L.A. Noire. I won’t hide the fact that I shop at Gamestop almost exclusively for my video games. This article is not the pros and cons of Gamestop. Regardless of what they may be like in your area, the one I shop at has a knowledgeable staff that has always taken care of me. So when L.A. Noire came out, I had my pre-order through them. The Badge Challenge was one of the items available through the Gamestop pre-order.

When I opened my game I found what I thought was one of the coolest extras I’d seen in a long time. The game had a small envelope which contained fake film negatives. Each one was the location of a badge in the badge hunt challenge. There are 20 badges to find and if you get all of them you unlock the Button Man suit. Little did I know how much those negatives would piss me off.

This is only 1/3rd of the map

What I haven’t mentioned yet is that L.A. Noire’s map is 8 square miles of the L.A. area. Open area games like GTA love give you hidden objects to find I their giant maps. I don’t know if they think it extends gameplay or if they think it makes people appreciate all the time they put into designing the world. And don’t get me wrong, you can see the amount of effort the developers put into making their L.A. look as real as possible. The problem is L.A. Noire isn’t the kind of game you get out of your car and wander around in. You go some place, question someone or search for clues, and then go to the next place.

This isn’t a game where you really want to just walk around. I’ve never been to L.A. either; I’m betting a native to that area could recognize some of the building from just looking at the negatives. Not me though, I was lost on that giant map. In my frustration I pulled a list of badge locations off the internet and found them that way. The coolest thing about this, is I google mapped the majority of the landmarks and found them using my phone. I won’t lie, it wowed me. The Badge Hunt can still eat a dick, but Team Bondi did a fantastic job on the game.

What? Golden Film Canisters? Son of a…..

That F'ing Monkey Search Terms

This week we are celebrating the 1 year anniversary of That F’ing Monkey. I promise we won’t spend the entire week navel gazing. In fact there are some pretty cool articles planned. This Sunday is the actual anniversary and if you’re in the Central Florida area I’ll be at the Ale House in Altamonte Springs around 2-4 celebrating.

Early in the website’s history I became obsessed with statistics. How many page hits did we get in a day? What country or state did they come from? Are they new or returning readers? I’ll pour over charts and lists of this information like it is the cure for cancer. For some reason it fascinates me. One of the most interesting is the “Search Terms”; these are the web searches people put into google or other search engines and eventually ended up on That F’ing Monkey. Today we’re going to look at some of the more interesting and/or funny.

 

i wish monkeys could skype 1
2011 monkey playoff 2

monkey transformer 5

bloody dragon monkey 1
Friday monkey logo car 1

Obviously with the word monkey in our name we were bound to get some strange monkey searches. I don’t know what monkey playoffs are, but I really want to go to them. If the bloody dragon monkey isn’t in the next Monster Manual I’ll be sorely disappointed. On a final monkey note, I think all of us wish they could use Skype. I now realize it is a line from Hangover 2, but it is too funny not to mention.

mad eye moody rooster cogburn 15

Thundercracker transformer birthday cake designs 1

the superhero who needed a car 1
yank justice 3
Overshaved hobbits 1
King Ken nerd 1
Wonder Woman getting fucked by penguin 1

I grouped all the geekier searches together. It looks like at least 15 other people agreed with my Mad Eye Moody is Rooster Cogburn theory. The Mad Eye Moody article was a pretty popular one and outside of the Lego game, he remains the only thing I really like in Harry Potter. I’m also very happy that someone out there was searching for Yank Justice and found this site. Anyone know who King Ken nerd is? I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned Wonder Woman getting fucked by a Penguin before on the website, so no idea how that one got here. When I first read it I just thought of the animal and not the character. I couldn’t understand why someone would want to see that.

Copepods 253

that shark sounds like a monkey 1

picture of a four fin monkey shark 1

I wrote the copepod article last year during Shark Week. The page hits for that one post quickly out paced everything other thing I had written for the site. I still see strong traffic to that article every week. Apparently there are no good shark parasite resources out there. If anyone has a picture of a four fin monkey shark, please send it to me. I have no idea which shark sounds like a monkey, but I’d love to hear it.  Last year my birthday fell during Shark Week, I'm really hoping that becomes an annual thing.

hd fucking 20
+nerd fuck +hd 1
doctor fucking 1
sex wight aninals 1

shoes fucking 1

cake fucker 3

Well, you put F’ing in your title you’re bound to get something like these right? The shoe one was particularly strange though.  Do you need pictures of that?  Is that two shoes doing it or someone doing it to a shoe?  I'm very confused.

Cool things to make out of liquor bottles 1

Liquor bottles show up on kitchen cabinet 1
Old people bars 3

Shot of everclear throat raw help 1

I think all of these are fun, although I feel for the last one.  Somehow I think it was a teenager trying to show off and it going so very wrong.

That’s it for odd search times. Hopefully you found it as fun as I do; or you at least got a chuckle out of some of them. Obviously because of Flash Friday I get a ton of different Flash searches, but none of those key words were exceptionally funny or strange. Most the video game stuff falls into the same category. I was really disappointed to find people looking for torrents of the Playing for Change stuff. The CD isn’t expensive and it supports such a good cause. Check back tomorrow for more anniversary fun.

Cake Fucker: Origins

As we at That F'ing Monkey prepare for the one year anniversary of Comics, Games, and Booze we will be doing some retrospective and behind the scenes info this week. For my Monday post I shall be telling the story of the Cake Fucker nickname that I obtained many years ago at DragonCon. Not since Marvel delved into the history of that hairy Canuck have people questioned a backstory as much.


(Walter Langkowski opened a mystic barrier that allowed the Great Beast Tanaraq to pass through, and Walter assumed its form)

Anyway it all started in Atlanta, Georgia for DragonCon. Ken and I had gotten pledged into Lambda Sigma Rho by Tony DiGerolamo the writer for Superfrat. That day Ken became Brother Catacomb, the Brother that can summon and control Ray Harryhousen style skeletons.

And I became Brother X-wing. Wait, you ask yourself, I thought you were Brother Cake Fucker? Well settle down I am telling this story, stop interrupting!

That evening we were hanging out enjoying some frosty brews with the oft mentioned artist of Superfrat Chris Moreno. As we were getting nice and toasty another friend of ours, Glen, comes out of nowhere and begins to tell use all about a slice of cake as big as ones head "It's massive and fucking delicious", he says. Well I say "I want fucking cake!". Chris starts laughing his ass off and yells out "CAKE FUCKER!". Apparently he thought I said "I want to fuck cake". He then proceeds to ask if it is a birthday cake if I would blow out the candles first, how it works with an icecream cake, ect. Thus a nickname is born and has stuck ever since. To this day Glen still sends me pictures of DragonCon cake slices when I can't make it to the Con. I am also the only one to ever have his Frat name changed due to extreme hilarity.

For those that wonder, Brother Cake Fucker's super powers are comparable to Superman - as long as he is fucking a cake.

There ya go, the Origin of the Fucker of Cakes.

On a hockey note, the Lightning have tied up the Eastern Conference Finals with the Bruins at two games each. So you can expect a beard update from me next week.


Reading this week: "A Clash of Kings" by George R.R. Martin (I finally have some free time and am almost through it....)

Green Lantern Games

Yesterday we talked about the upcoming Green Lantern video game, Rise of the Manhunters. It should be exciting for Green Lantern fans because there has never been a strictly Green Lantern video game. Green Lantern has made appearances in video games though, and we’re going toe be talking about those today. We aren’t talking about DC Universe Online though, fuck that game.

Before we get started I want to point out that Green Lantern had the good fortune not to be included in 1995’s Justice League Task Force. That shit taco masquerading as a 2D fighting game is so bad it is almost unplayable. I don’t know why Green Lantern wasn’t included in this train wreck, but he should consider himself lucky.

As far as I can tell 2006’s Justice League Heroes is the first video game to feature the Green Lantern. I realize someone is probably yelling at the computer screen right now wondering how I could have forgotten some game I don’t know the name of. Justice League Heroes was very similar to Marvel’s X-Men Legends and Ultimate Alliance except that you controlled two heroes instead of four. It wasn’t a perfect game, but I enjoyed it.

John Stewart was the main Green Lantern in the game. You could unlock two other looks for him. One made him bald and one put him in his older costumer. Hal and Kyle were both unlockable characters in this one too. Unfortunately they didn’t have different move sets then John, so if you include the alternate costumes it was pretty much five versions of the same character.

Hal Jordan was also in the Mortal Kombat vs DC game that came out in 2008. Not bloody enough for Mortal Kombat fans this one has been pretty quickly forgotten now that the new Kombat game has hit. Along with the Teen rating that probably doomed it, MK vs DC has a story written by That F’ing Monkey favorites Jimmy Palmiotti and Justin Grey.

Not only did you get Hal in all his construct creating glory, one of the battle locations was on Oa. Pretty cool stuff if you ask me. The game got a pretty bad wrap for not being able to tear out spines. I’m not a huge fighting game fan, but I had fun plying this. Green Lantern had all sorts of construct hammers and saws at his disposal. I’d like to say I was awesome with the Flash in this one, but sadly I was best using Captain Marvel.

That’s it for our extra Sunday helping of Green Lantern games. I hope you enjoyed it.  We have to wait until June 7th before we can tell how GL does in his first solo game.

Green Lantern: Rise of the Manhunters

If you haven’t been down the toy isle of your favorite story yet you might not have noticed that the Green Lantern invasion has begun. The Green Lantern Colossal Cannon is freaking awesome by the way, I’m not sure it is 30 dollars awesome, but it is worth putting on and running around the store for a few minutes. We’ve already talked a lot about some of the stranger things coming out to tie into the film, but we haven’t mentioned Rise of the Manhunters yet.

Incase you haven’t seen any mention of it, Rise of the Manhunters is coming out on June 7th for the 360, PS3, Wii, DS, and 3DS. Based on the movie version of Green Lantern they got Ryan Reynolds to actually voice GL in the game. Kilowog, Tomar-Re, and Sinestro are listed as different voice actors though. For those not familiar with Green Lantern lore the Manhunters are androids created by the Guardians. There were kind of like a beta version of the Green Lanterns.

If you’re worried about the script for the game, they managed to get Marv Wolfman to write it. That is some serious comicbook cred. More info for the game can be found on their facebook, which is located here. Check it out for lots of exclusive screen shots. They are going to be adding new ones every Thursday. From the screens I’ve seen the Wii, 3DS and DS versions seem to have a cartoony look to them. I think I like it.

I saw a demo at my local Best Buy and got to see Hal making giant swords, fling robots around the screen, and creating the construct chain gun. The game play looked similar to a God of War style brawler, but I only saw one level. The game does have co-op, players can be either Hal or Sinestro. At least from advance word it doesn’t look like we’re going to get to play as Kilowog. Since our favorite Bolovax Vik may be unplayable I decided to run with the idea of three other Green Lantern aliens that probably won’t be playable; but should totally be added as DLC.

Arkkis Chummuck
If you’ve only started reading Green Lantern since Rebirth you’ve missed out on one of the most badass Lanterns ever. This is the guy who fought his sector’s Green Lantern, defeated him, and ate him. He then used his ring to stop the war between his planet and the one the Green Lantern was from. The Guardians put him on trial and not only found him innocent, they made him a Lantern! Arkkis sacrificed himself fight Maaldor but this is the movie universe, they can totally bring him back.

Bzzd
If honorable wolfmen aren’t your thing, how about Bzzd? Probably my favorite Lantern created since the relaunch of the Corps, Bzzd looks like a hornet from Earth but is from the planet Apiaton. One of the smaller Lanterns every, Bzzd was extremely brave and used his ring to stand along his full sized friends. Not that I was creating a list of fallen Lanterns, but Bzzd sacrificed himself when the Lanterns were fighting Mongul. It was a very, very sad moment.

Mogo
We can’t forget Bzzd’s partner though! Mogo, the Green Lantern planet! I realize there is no way that he’d ever be playable but it makes me laugh to think about playing as a planet in the vide game. The cut scenes would be the best ever.

Come back tomorrow for some more Green Lantern goodness. Yes, that’s right. There is going to be a Sunday update!!

Flash Friday: Helping Hands

Happy Flash Friday everyone! Today is something a little different, don’t worry it is still Flash related but a break from the F’ing Monkey norm. I don’t normally run updates that are repeating stories that can easily be found elsewhere, but I’m making an exception this time because it is for a very good cause.

Colorist Moose Baumann has run into some financial trouble and has tuned to the comic community for help. The story Newsarama wrote tells the story much better then I can.

A few years back my wife had breast cancer. She had chemo and a partial mastectomy, and we thought things were good. A year later we found out that it had spread, and she went in for more chemo and surgery. Several months prior she had lost her job and her insurance, and because of her "prior condition" no one else would insure her. So we've been working on paying off the full cost of her medical bills for the past two years, just north of $90 grand.

Right now work is scarce and money is super tight, and on June 1st it looks like we may lose our home because of all of this. I'm trying to sell some prints of my work online to make some quick cash, and hopefully keep my home. I'm reluctant to ask for help, it's embarrassing, but I'm at the end of my rope.

So that is the situation. I'm not going to start talking about the state of health care in the US or the government, this will never be that kind of site.  Instead you can help Moose out; check out his site by clicking here. He is currently selling 13”x19” prints that are on archival paper. They are 20 dollars a print. His email address is down in the comments section and he takes both money orders and Paypal. Look through the gallery, you’re going to recognize those covers. You probably love some of them, you just didn’t know you needed a nice copy to frame and hang up on your wall.

I’ve already posted a shorter version of this in the comments of Newsarma’s blog, but I want to tell the story here too. I got to meet Moose a few years ago at Megacon. He was selling prints of his work and I stopped to talk to him. While looking through his prints I pointed to the one above this paragraph, the cover to Flash 9. I told him the story how my wife bought it for me as a surprise wedding gift. He and I talked for a long time, both about how DC butchered the image by blacking out the entire background and then started talking about comics in general.

I think we probably talked for half an hour or more, but then I had to rush off to meet someone. As I was leaving though Moose called be back over. He quickly signed a print of my cover and handed it to me. It seemed I needed to own a print of the correct version. It was a small gesture of kindness, but it stuck with me. So that’s my story. You can waste time on my site anytime you want, go over to Moose’s and take a look at some prints.

***All images used today except for the last photo were taken from Moose's website so you can see what he has for sale.

Hangover Thursday: International Boozing

It’s Hangover Thursday, how’s your head? My personal booze plans were cut a little short last night so I’m far more tired then I am anything else. All the L.A. Noire I’ve been playing lately does make me want to pull out my Old Man Drinks book and mix up a couple classic drinks the next time I power up the old 360. Before I’ll get to today’s actual topic, I’ll remind everyone that Sunday May 29th is the 1 year anniversary of That F’ing Monkey and I’ll be at the Altamonte Springs Ale House that afternoon so come have a drink with me.

With my shameless self-promotion out of the way we can move onto the awesome T-shirt design that ExBoyfriend came up with. Now before you have to reread that; let me clarify. ExBoyfriend is the company that makes this design. Their motto is “clothing that start conversation.” Apparently it works because I’m talking about the one they call International Boozing! I’ve always wanted something that would simultaneously show my love for Geography and alcohol! All joking aside, I think the design looks fantastic. I’d like to see an even larger version so I could read all the minor details in Europe.

My favorite thing about ExBoyfriend is that if you like a design they have a ton of different options of what you want it printed on. You can take the International Boozing design and have it printed on a 100% cotton canvas tote bag. Think about it. Use it as your shopping bag every time you go to the liquor store. It would be the booziest way to go green. Now I’m amazed that booziest is actually a word and didn’t set off the spell check. Check out ExBoyfriend, they have some other cool designs over there, but International Boozing rules them all.

Dead Space 2 Upgrade!

Video game collector’s editions have gotten more and more ridiculous with their extras. With remote control vehicles, night vision goggles, statues everywhere, and of course props. Most of these things are novel and interesting for about ten minutes before you forget about them and dive into your new video game. I’m guessing many of the people reading this right now have a Dead Space 2 plasma cutter laying on a shelf somewhere collecting dust. If you do, you may want to give it the dust off because what I’m about to show you is awesome.

Before we move on though, let me state what you’re about to see in the video below is not anyone at That F’ing Monkey. I am soooooo colorblind that I’m paranoid about doing anything with wiring. The video comes from Kipkay’s Amazing Lasers. If you dig playing with lasers, give his other videos a chance. With that out of the way, click on the video below to see what he can do with that plasma cutter.

Almost makes me want to track one down on Ebay. Also I want to point out no matter how much I might mock the stuff in collector’s editions, I’m not immune. I’m sure what ever Mass Effect 3 comes with will be collecting dust on my shelf, just waiting to be updated with lasers.

Gamera is Friend to All Us Children

There are a few absolutes in my life. Things that my being is so 100% set to believing that I am unshakable in that belief. If you ask me who my favorite giant robot is, without a doubt the answer will be King of the Braves, Gao Gai Gar. No surprise to any reader here, my favorite superhero will always be the Flash. Ask me my favorite giant monster and the only answer acceptable would be Gamera, Guardian of the Universe. There is a special place in my heart for that crazy flying turtle.

There are three different eras of Gamera films the Showa, Heisei, and Millennium. Showa are the original films; created so Daiei could compete against Toho’s Godzilla franchise. In those early films he was a pre-historic turtle whose fire abilities come from his food. The Heisei films were created in the mid to late 90s. They have Gamera being created in Atlantis to be a Guardian of the Universe. The Heisei movies are fantastic and I can not recommend them enough. The Millennium era changes things again, this time we have a baby Gamera hatching from an egg.

Regardless of which version you’re watching, you get a giant turtle that breathes fire and flies. The flying is the best part, because it isn’t just up, up, and away. No, he pulls his back legs into his shell and jets come out of them. Sometimes he pulls everything into his shell and does a fire spin. Gamera also has extremely powerful healing powers, but he has to enter a coma-like state for them to kick in. So usually a monster beats up on him, he enters his healing state, and then comes back to kick the monster’s butt. Sure it might be a bit formulaic, but it is still a lot of fun.

I won’t lie. Even though I had seen tons of Godzilla movies, the first Gamera movie I had ever seen was because of Mystery Science Theater 3000. After that I quickly searched for everything Gamera related that I could. I have both the Showa and Heisei movies on DVD. Now I’ll be able to own the MST3K episodes. On August 2nd Shout Factory is releasing MST3K Vs. Gamera: Mystery Science Theater 3000, Vol. XXI. The set will run just about 50 bucks.

What is in this glorious tin? You get the five Showa era movies that Joel and the bots watched. For the record that is; 302-Gamera, 304-Gamera vs. Barugon, 308-Gamera vs. Gaos, 312-Gamera vs. Guiron, and 316-Gamera vs. Zigra. That in and of itself should be enough to make anyone happy, but wait there is more! You also get these special features: So Happy Together: A Look Back at MST3K and Gamera, Gamera Vs. The Chiodo Brothers, Gamera Obscura: A Brief History by August Ragone (author of Eiji Tsuburaya: Master of Monsters), Original Japanese Trailers, and 5 limited edition mini-posters by artist Steve Vance. Yeah. To put it mildly that is an amazing deal. August can’t get here quick enough.

Electronic News Gathering

For those that don't know, I work in News. This is pretty much the truth.


Reading this week: "A Clash of Kings" by George R.R. Martian (It is a dense book and I am busy...leave me alone)

NHL Playoffs Round 3

Here we are, Round 3. The Lightning and the Bruins have their first game tonight while the Sharks and the Canucks have their first game on Sunday. Before the playoffs had even started I had guessed that it would be Vancouver and Philly in the finals, so no matter what happens in this round we know I’m at least half wrong. This will also be the last 2011 beard update for me. With the Red Wings out there was no reason not to pull out the beard trimmer last night. Brandon is still going strong, so I’ll let him handle that update when this round is over.

Ken 5/13/11

I am sad the Red Wings lost but I don’t feel too bad. I was depressed when the series looked like a sweep, but then with each game Detroit just started winning again. Seven games in a row where one goal pretty much determined who would be the winner. It was exciting. In the end the Sharks finally closed out the series and my favorite team is heading home. There is a lot of uncertainty regarding a number of the Wing’s players and retirement, but I figure we have a few months before we hear anything concrete.  Lidstrom says we'll know by July 1st if he is coming back.  Draper and Osgood want to come back next year.

Brandon 5/13/11

The other big story this round was the sweeps. Both Boston and the Lighting swept their opponents. I think it was just karma for Boston; since last year they won the first three games and then lost the series to the Flyers. Tampa was completely unexpected though. There were times where it didn’t even look like Tampa was going to make it out of the first round. Washington is going to be taking a very serious look at their roster this summer.

How will the two sweepers do against each other? How about Shark versus whale? I know the Canucks aren’t the Whalers, but the images of their two logos look like an episode of Animal Faceoff which is kind of fun. So are you watching the games? Any predictions? Let us know what you think.