Old Man Drinks

I did not hit the bar over last night, so this is pretty much a hangover free Thursday. I know myself, if I had gone to the bar for just one or two drinks I’d have stayed for Trivia. And then for another couple drinks. And then something else would happen. And then I’d be leaving at 11. So instead of all that, I just hung out at home. I did not need to feel like death this morning and that is exactly how I felt the past two weeks.


So instead of telling you what I drank last night, I’m going to tell you about a book I bought that tells me what I should be drinking. Or something like that. Robert Schnakenberg wrote a book called, Old Man Drinks: Recipes, Advice, and Barstool Wisdom.

What you get in this small hardcover is 70 drink recipes with info on the drinks origin. In addition you get some great photos and quotes from old men that enjoy drinking. So if you want to find out what is in a Rusty Nail or Side Car this is the book for you.

A little booze’ll make you charming, a little more will make you an ass. I hope to ride that line tonight.
-John, 68 painter

Blasto the Jelly Fish Stings

I am slammed at work today, so any long thoughtful post will have to wait till my workload eases up a bit.  So today I’m showing off a piece of fan art that ~ArtGhoul71 did of Blasto, the first Hanar Specter. The character started as a joke on the Mass Effect forums that got so big it was even included in the game. When on Illium you can hear a commercial for the movie Blasto, the Jelly Fish Stings.

Tales from the Brain Jar, #6

Tales from Brain Jar returns! Last week was the fantastic Goon piece from Dragon Con. This week my sketch book traveled all the way to Detroit and the Motor City Comic Con. While I have been to the aforementioned convention I wasn’t there when this sketch was done. Brandon had actually gone up to Detroit and was kind enough to get me two sketches while he was there; the first of which we’ll see today and the next one possibly next week. All this thinking of Detroit makes me miss it…and National Coney Island, but lets move on before this turns into a blog about chili cheese dogs.

It is David Petersen’s Mouse Guard! Well, they aren’t wearing cloaks, so I doubt the little guys in this sketch are members of the guard. They sure are cute though. And it captures the universal rule of moving heavy objects; one person does all the work while the other gives all the orders.

In my other Brain Jar posts I go into character history and such, but I’ve already gone into detail about how awesome Mouse Guard is in an earlier post, here. So I won’t repeat myself here. Sadly the Mouse Guard RPG game I got invited to is on a break, but if it ever starts back up I’ll make sure to share my thoughts on it.

One Punch, the Revenge

Sharktopus won’t be kept at bay!

I admit it; I have strange taste in movies. I’d rather sit and watch a Santo movie the most the things at the theaters right now. I like the old Elvis movies although 90% of them barely had any plot besides rebellious race car driver hits on hot girl. But today is a special day. Tonight at 9 is the SyFy (God I hate that name) Channel debut of Sharktopus!!

That’s right; I love a low budget monster movie. Give me a Gatoroid or Megapython over another Saw clone any day of the week. After all the hype died around Snakes on a Plane, I still loved it. I own it on DVD. Monsters are fantastic and a giant shark crossed with an octopus is just so outrageous it must be seen. But there is even more, check it out after the jump.

Flash Friday: It’s the car, right? Chicks dig the car.

December solicits came out this week and the cover to Flash #9 look very interesting. Besides the fact I’m excited to see Wally and Bart, we have a new mystery character on a Speed Force charged motorcycle. Who is it? No one knows yet of course. I thought of White Lighting for some reason, but he looks very male and she was very female.

I think the new character looks pretty cool, but does a speedster need a vehicle? Well turns out the Flash isn’t a stranger to vehicles either, at least not when he is showing up in toy form. What am I talking about? Check it out after the jump.

So have a drink you bastards

It happened again. I didn’t expect it to be a late night at the bar, but friends who almost never come out drinking any more started showing up. I couldn’t be rude and leave. I put another good chunk in my beer list too. Beers 75-81 are Jai Alai, Brooklyn Lager, Brooklyn Brown, Coors, Coors Light, Miller Light, and La Fin Du Monde. That last one was no joke either, seriously good stuff.

I’m probably going to skip the bar next week, but I already have something planned for Hungover Thursday. So your weekly dose of silly beer nonsense won’t be missing.

Tales from the Brain Jar, #5

Welcome back to Tales from the Brain Jar. When we had left off I had picked up a wonderfully gory Murmur picture from Ethan Van Sciver. It wouldn’t be for a couple more months before I got my next sketch at Dragon Con. To this day I still have problems explaining what I want from an artist when get a commission for the book. The brain jar thing can be hard to explain and it is usually easier to just hand them the book so they can see what has already been done. I love all the sketches in my book, but the one you are about to see is the one that other artists stop and comment about.

What is it? Check after the jump.

It takes a special kind of asshole to laugh at that joke.

I’m drawn to cringe comedy, the jokes so offensive people try not to laugh at. I can’t help it; I’m not right in the head. For about the past year I have been fascinated to the stand up comedy of Anthony Jeselnik. The title for this post is one of his lines after a particularly brutal joke. Apparently I am a special kind of asshole. Anyway, Anthony just released a comedy CD titled Shakespeare and it is available through Amazon’s MP3 service or through Itunes. I can’t recommend it enough. But incase you aren’t sure that his style isn’t for you, check out the sample below and see for yourself.

That F'ing Monkey Chicken Duck

There really is nothing else to say...

Flash Friday: Flash Cake Failure

 I’m sorry to say, that this Flash Friday I’ve failed you. You may not have seen it yet, but Hostess is teaming with the Justice League this Halloween. Not only are there contests and such involved but two character who don’t usually get special merchandise get their own snack cakes. Yes, there are now Flash Cakes and Green Lantern Glow Balls. Sure, when the movie comes out we’ll be drowning in GL stuff, but right now it is still kind of cool. I had made it my mission last night to hit ever grocery store I could in search of Flash Cakes so I could review them for the site. Not the Glow Balls though, I can’t stand cocoanut. Sorry GL. But as I said at the top, I have failed you.

Target, Wallmart, Publix, Albertsons, and Winn Dixie all came up short. I found Batman on boxes of cup cakes. I found Superman on boxes of Twinkies. But there was no Green Lantern or Flash to be found. Years ago I had a friend that was I huge action figure collector. He also worked as a disturber for a reptile and tropical fish breeder, so he would drive all over the state of Florida making deliveries to different stores. There were times I’d go with him and during the stops we’d make toy runs. Literally stop at a Toys R Us or Target, go in, look for that rare short packed figure, and then come out all in like 5 minutes. I never in a million years thought I’d be doing that for snack cakes.

I haven’t given up though. As Halloween gets closer, I’m sure they will start showing up more. I promise, I will have a more detailed Flash Friday about these things. Now it has become a challenge. But more importantly I think it is a celebration of a character that is usually overlooked when it comes to products meant for a non-comic reading audience. I realize it is a small thing, but sometimes it is the small things that make you happy.

I’ll have just one more…..

Last night turned into a game of “just one more beer”. I am paying today, which is appropriate for a Hang Over Thursday. It was one of those nights where I just kept meeting new and interesting people. I mean, it might be 11pm but how do you not stay and talk to the guy who lost two fingers to a Zamboni?!?

Now as far as my beer list goes I had Mad River Steelhead Double IPA, White Hawk Select IPA, Orange Blossom Pilsner (draft), Michelob Lager, Landshark, Seirra Nevda, Heineken, and a beer I was too drunk to really catch the name of, so for now we’ll call it Mystery Beer.  So that is beers 67-74.

This is different then the mystery beer they actually offer at my local bar. That beer is something they need to drain the keg so they sell what ever it is for a dollar. It is very popular. My head is pounding so this is going to be a short one. I think I need a chicken parm sub to keep me alive at this point. So I’ll leave you with a piece of advice from the great Red Green, “Keep your stick on the ice.”

3, 2, 1…oh thank god!

Keanu Reeves is reporting that the live action version of Cowboy Bebop has been put on hold. “I haven’t heard anything back,” Reeves told Collider when asked for a Bebop update. “They turned in the script and it was very expensive. I don’t know if they’re going to…it would cost, like, half a billion dollars to make that script. So, I don’t know where it’s at right now.”

Brandon and I have talked a lot about converting comics to film, but this is one of those situations where cartoon to film would break my heart. Spike Spiegel is such an amazing character that I can’t think of an actor that would do him justice, Keanu Reeves certainly wouldn’t. Hopefully the move is more then on hold, I want it dead. So this is very good news. I think I’ll go home tonight and pull out the DVDs. See you Space Cowboy….

Shining Force

There is very special announcement. If you haven’t heard, Shining Force is now available on the iPhone. It is possible you may already know about this, it isn’t the newest of news and for that I apologize. But it is important news. Shining Force came out for the Sega Genesis in 1992. It is a turned-based strategy role-playing game. I like to think of it as a predecessor to games like Tactics Ogre and Final Fantasy Tactics.

The game has you take the role of generic young person who must travel the land collecting companions and battling the evil army. There are even more common RPG themes in the Japanese version, the main character is actually the main bad guys brother but has amnesia so he doesn’t remember. Okay, so the story isn’t the best. The game play is where the series shines.

The translation to iPhone does it correct too. There are semi-transparent buttons on the screen in one corner and a directional pad in the other. Sometimes they respond a little wonky, but is it turned based combat so it isn’t like taking a few extra seconds to move your character is going to matter. I’ve spent hours leveling my characters already. Seriously, I’ve already lost track of how many times I’ve run down my battery.

If you’re an older gamer with fond memories of the series you won’t be disappointed. If you’re a newer gamer with an appreciation for older RPGs check it out, you won’t be disappointed. Hopefully the sequels are already in the works.

Tales from the Brain Jar, #4

Can you believe we are still at Megacon 05? I’d already gotten a great Patrick the Wolf Boy and Mr. Monster sketch. It was only Saturday and I was still on the hunt to see if I could get another sketch. This is an interesting one, because the artist I approached was local at the time. When I commissioned the sketch, I did so knowing I wouldn’t get my book back that weekend. It would actually be a month or two later when I ran into him at a local comic shop signing. The thought of doing that now is extremely scary, but it should be said I have the utmost trust in this artist.

So who is this person I trust so much and what did he draw? Check it out after the jump.

More Scary Comic Adaptions

Well now that the MDA telethon has run its course and I have some time to sit and write, here is my top five Comic Adaptions That would Scare Me as promised. This was a bit of a thinker for me, as Ken said a few of my favorites have already been made or being made. So let's jump right into the fun with number 5.



5. DaredevilYes this is kind of a cheat as there has already been a painful Ben Affleck movie and I promise this will be the only one with a film already (Dr. Doom is too far gone at this point). I will concede that the directors cut of the film was slightly more tolerable. That being said there is a rumor floating around that they are going to "re-boot" DD in order for Fox to retain the rights. That really scares me. What has me worried is that ol' Matt will played by one of these androgynous "actors" that seem to be coming up in the Hollywood ranks. People like whats-his-name that is cast as Peter Parker in that upcoming "re-boot" of Spider-Man or that other kid that you have never heard of, but 13 year old girls go crazy over. Of course that really frightens me for all the characters on this list.


4. Moon Knight
Yep that's right most of my favorite Marvel characters are the street level heroes. They are also some of the more difficult to translate to a big blockbuster flick. With Moon Knight it could be an amazing movie with a crazy protagonist that may or may not talk to his God Khonshu. It has the potential to be in the vein of Fight Club with the psychosis of the main character being played out in a super interesting way. What would most likely happen though is it would be played for laughs and the great character moments would be lost in the shuffle of the action and adventure. Plus one of my personal favorite moments would never be included - when Moon Knight is watching the Punisher jack some mobsters up in an alley and Khonshu tells Knight that Frank wears his god proudly on his chest - due to the Punisher being stuck with another studio.


3. The Avengers
Now what scares me about this flick is less the casting and more the story and director. Yep I said it Joss Whedon directing scares me. Now don't get me wrong I am a Whedon fanboy, I think that Firefly was one of the greatest shows ever made and I loves me some Angel (in a totally platonic way, unless of course he wanted to watch a Leafs game). The problem is I am scared which of the beloved characters is going to be killed off at the end. Say what you will about Joss, the man loves killing people that you are invested in. And until I see the first trailer I am going to leave the story alone (for now). Also that damn 3-D crap needs to go the way of the dodo.



2. Hal Jordan
You know that this had to be on here. I still don't see Ryan Reynolds as Hal. Wally West sure, Wade Wilson - the man was born to play, but Hal? Yeah I don't see it. I really hope to be proven wrong.


1. Booster Gold
I am a huge fan of the new direction that DC has taken Booster Gold in the last few years. Now instead of just being a screw-up that was defined by his friendship with the Blue Beetle, he is a screw-up on purpose. He has been moved from the role of comic relief and bolstered up to "The Greatest Hero You Have Never Heard Of!". He patrols the time scape and makes sure no one is mucking about with history. In order to do that our boy Gold has to continue to act like a putz in the eyes of everyone he knows (and know him). What scares me about him in a movie would be if the film makers ignore that concept and just toss him and the Beetle in a JLA flick for laughs and other than that just be a wink and nudge to comics fans. At this point he is a much deeper character than that and is consistently a great read in the funny pages every month.

Flash Friday: Wings at the Speed of Sound

I’m switching things up a little for this Flash Friday. I’ve gotten into the rut of just showing off things in my collection. Today I’m wanted to bring up one of the untold problems with being a Flash fan. It all comes down to those damn wings. What am I talking about?

I moved in April. Moving is never fun, especially when you have a large number of breakables. Most of my statues I could carefully wrap up and load up into a box. As long as I didn’t throw the box around, I was reasonably sure that everything would come back out intact. Not so with the Flash statues. A number of them were driven to their new home with my wife hold then on her lap. You guessed it, it all had to do with the wings.

Those tiny, delicate pieces look so good in comics can be such a pain in real life. My animated maquette snapped a wing off a few years ago. I actually have the piece; I just haven’t super glued it back together yet for some unknown reason. I think I’m afraid I could somehow mess it up even worse.

During this move I discovered my 13 inch Flash had a crack on one of his wings. This is even more distressing because I found it before any actual moving was done. The figure comes with a stand; he’d be standing in the same running pose ever since I first unpacked him. He’d never fallen over, so that could only mean the cracks were there all along and I just never noticed them before.

I’m sure Bat fans have problems with the pointy ears. Lots of collectors probably have cape issues. But at least for this Flash collector, wings are my private pain.

Beer, how sweet it is

My journey to get my beer mug at my local bar is not an easy one. There are times that I have to go down paths I’d rather not. I will not lie; last night was one of those times. About two trips ago I had decided that I was better off drinking things that were similar in taste. Mixing stouts, ipas, lagers, and etc was starting to churn my guts. My friendly neighborhood bartender thought it would be funny to set me down the path of the sweet drinks.

So here are the sweet, sweet “beers” of the week. Smirnoff Ice, Smirnoff Cranberry & Lime, Fox Barrel cider, Leinenliugel’s Sunset Wheat, Babycham, and a Tangerine beer that I forgot to put the name of in my phone. So you’ll get an update on that one next week. That will count for beers 61-66! After all that sweetness I broke down and had a couple of Guinness.

All that sugary stuff is not helping my head this morning. But I do think the drinking of similar things is helpful. I also may have called a bunch of people at like 11pm last night. Really it seemed like a good idea at the time. At least I was thinking of you right?

Also, have you heard the Twisted Tea commercial with the girl with the nice scratchy voice? She wants to sound all tough so someone in the commercial calls her baby and she replies with something along the lines of “I’m not your baby”. The staged tough/sassy talk is so annoying, even with her Pal Mal voice. Then later in the commercial a lady says, “My husband calls it his Man Tea.” WTF?!? I hate that freaking commercial.

Tales from the Brain Jar, #3

Last week in my sketchbook countdown we left off at Megacon of 05. It was my first convention with my Brain Jar Sketch Book. I had already gotten a fantastically cute Patrick the Wolf Boy and I was on the prowl for something that might be a little more horror themed. Although when you think about, werewolves are a staple of horror, I guess I forget about that because Patrick is so cute. Anyway, I found an indy book favorite of mine that I knew would get the horror aspect right.


Who was it? You’ll have to check it out after the jump.

Lair of the Shadow Broker

I haven’t talked video games in a little while. But I’m very excited for the 7th, it is a double DLC release from Bioware. Witch Hunt comes out for Dragon Age and Lair of the Shadow Broker comes out for Mass Effect 2. Both of these are meant to be played after completion of the game, which is a pretty cool idea. Before this all the DLC was really meant to be played before you did the last mission; which is hard to do if you finished the game the month it came out. I actually have been sitting with my Renegade play through half finished because I was waiting for all the DLC to come out. Now it looks like the majority of it will be post suicide run, so I’m going to start catching up on what I missed.

In case you’ve ever wondered about my weird update schedule, my normal weekend is Sunday and Monday, that’s why there aren’t updates then. Because of the holiday this weekend, I also get the 7th off. So in the F’ing Monkey household, that is going to be a day dedicated to Mass Effect. It may be the day I finally finish my third play through. The game has too many options; it took that many plays to do everything I wanted to do.

Bioware is claiming that Lair is the longest DLC released for ME2, so I’m pretty excited. The new DLC is also promising some kind of high speed chase. Between the Mako and Hammerhead we’ve had driving before, but we haven’t flown. It sounds cool, but it will probably be something that will frustrate me until I get the hang of it. As a completeist I know that the back story of this mission was told in the Mass Effect comic. So I’m betting I’ll swing by my local shop and pick that up before playing. It’s a sickness, I know I should seek help.

To be honest, Liara is my least favorite of the love interests for a male Shepard. She was a little annoying in ME1. The harder edged version in ME2 is making me like her a little more. But compared to Tali, Miranda, Jack, and hell even Ash she still is my least favorite. I did the stereotypical thing on my female Shepard game though, and totally went for her. My female character is always the Renegade for some reason; that might not be a healthy mindset. I’m anxious to see how her story unfolds. That says something for the storytelling; even the characters I don’t like as much are still interesting. Except Jacob, he’s just boring.

Flash Friday, Drop that Puck!

Yahoo started up their Fantasy Hockey back up this week. I have a team in the CHL, the Comic Hockey League. We will talk much more about the CHL in coming weeks. So I’m pretty excited, excited enough that I knew I had to make a hockey themed Flash Friday. What could I possibly be talking about? I’ll give you a hint; it has to do with issue 174.

Check it out after the jump

Comic adaptations that would scare me

No bar last night due to some other issues, so we’ll talk some comics. I got a text from Brandon the other day, in what seemed like seconds after the story broke, “What do you think about the xXx writer doing the script for Iron Fist?”  As a big Iron Fist fan, it was kinda scary.  We've talked a lot about accepting the changes movies like Jonah Hex, Thor, and Green Lantern make to the comic stories.  But what about the ones that aren't about to hit the movie theaters?  It got me thinking of those characters where I would have to repress my inner geekdom if the movie changed something in the story or diverged from the comic. So I'm counting down the Top 5 superhero adaptations that would make me nervous. I’m sticking with superhero books here, so awesome characters like Cal McDonald aren’t being overlooked; it is just a list for another time.


Check the list out after the jump